"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Lilyia's History

1 Chronicles 29:11-12
Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, indeed everything that is in the heavens and the earth; Yours is the dominion, O LORD, and You exalt Yourself as head over all.
Both riches and honor come from You, and You rule over all, and in Your hand is power and might; and it lies in Your hand to make great and to strengthen everyone.

Lilyia was born on April 22nd, 2008. She was abandoned by her birth parents at a local police station on June 7th, 2008. The policeman who found her cared for her overnight and then she was sent to the Social Welfare Department of Guilin (orphanage in her province). She stayed in this orphanage for about 6 months until November 20th, 2008 where she was then put in a foster home with a Chinese family.

So, now the question is why did her parents decide to abandon her? This is a question that I couldn’t really answer until I lived in China and was able to see first hand the Chinese culture. Before living in China, John and I often said, how could any parent abandon their child, that is just awful? Well, I have a completely different attitude about it now. I think that for anyone, including Chinese parents, abandoning their child was probably the hardest thing they have ever had to do, but I also think that for many parents it is one of the most loving things as well. I hurt for her biological mom and dad, how difficult that day on June 7th must have been for them. I am sure they think about their baby often and wonder about her. The reason many Chinese families abandon their children, especially their special needs children, has a lot to do with the Chinese culture and society. A child with any kind of special need is not accepted as a part of society in China. They are considered “broken” and will not be given the opportunities that other Chinese children would be given. They are looked down upon, openly stared at, and often made fun of, even by adults. The Chinese culture does not know how to deal with a child who has a handicap of any kind, and because of this, many parents who have a child with a special need are often forced or pressured to give that child up.

Children with a handicap are sometimes not even allowed to go to school in some parts of china. Those with severe handicaps are often shut away in an orphanage which is the reason the Chinese cultural doesn’t know how to react when encountering a handicap person in public. Finances can also play a huge part in their decision. For some children, a simple surgery is all they need done and then they can go on to live a long and full life. However, there is no form of health care in China and because of how poor many Chinese families are, they have no money to even get a simple surgery done for their child. So, they abandon their child in hopes that somebody will save that child and get a surgery done for them. Abandoning your child in China is against the law, thus it is always done secretively and usually in the middle of the night.

So, it’s interesting…there is no form of health care to help these families get medical attention for their children. There is no support system for families that do have children born with special needs. Yet it is against the law to abandon their child. I just feel so saddened for these parents who have been pressured by family members or maybe even forced to give their child up because of something as minor as a paralyzed arm or a cleft lip and palate, or club feet. So, why did Lilyia’s parents give her up? Well, I guess I don’t know for sure. But, since she wasn’t abandoned until she was 1 ½ months old my guess is that her birth parents started noticing that she couldn’t move her arm and that something was wrong. They were probably scared, had no money to take her to a doctor to get any kind of idea as to what was wrong with her, and were possibly even pressured by their extended family to give this child up. Each family in China is only allowed one child, so they want their one child to be complete with no handicap. I love the Chinese people; they are some of the friendliest people I have ever met. I think they just don’t know any different, this is their culture, this is what they know and they just do what others tell them to do. But, deep down inside I know they have to hurt for that child that they lost. I wish I could tell Lilyia’s parents that it’s okay, that Xu ChunXin (Lilyia) is going to be okay…we will love this little girl with all of our hearts and give her the best life possible. I pray for her birth parents that God would give them a comfort like no other and that they would come to know the Lord so that maybe one day they would be able to see their daughter again in Heaven.

1 comment:

  1. I wonder too about our son, Evan's mom. He was abandoned at a busy train station in his province of Henan.

    I can't even begin to imagine the pain these mothers and fathers go through. It hardly seems "fair" that our family is the one who gets to raise him instead of her.

    It's comforting to know that these kids were hand picked for us, by God, isn't it?